4 Arguments Against Marriage Equality and Why They're Wrong

This is a departure from the scope of my blog, but it's been on my mind and I'd like to talk a little about it. Grab a drink and a sandwich, because this is a long one.

The US Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA, was passed in 1996 and legally defined marriage in the United States as being between one man and one woman. Very recently, a portion of DOMA was ruled unconstitutional.

Right on schedule, the anti-gay folks freaked out about it. Their arguments were the usual, and no more correct than they've been before. Here are four of the most often-heard arguments against marriage equality and why they don't hold water.

A Few Words on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

For the uninitiated, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on the client changing thought patterns and core beliefs that produce negative feelings and behaviors. It has been used to successfully treat such conditions as depression, addiction, PTSD and even obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I decided to give it a try when I started experiencing physical symptoms from the stress I was under. I'd heard about CBT before, so I fired up my trusty Google machine and searched "cognitive behavioral therapy for stress". This led me to the National Stress Clinic. 

I was surprised by the amount of work I was expected to do on my own. When I went to therapy in the past, the psychologists got me to talking about my feelings and things that happened to me, but I don't remember there being a whole lot of emphasis on identifying and changing core beliefs. That's something I've never confronted before, and to be honest I was a little intimidated. 

It's working, though. I read articles containing daily lessons, then complete worksheets that have really done a lot to get me to identify toxic thought patterns that I never specifically acknowledged before. Not only that, but I'm being taught to replace the toxic thought with a positive or neutral one. Sure, when you're down, a lot of people will say "think positive!" But CBT actually teaches you how to do it. I'm in the fourth week of the program and I can already see a change in myself. I'm optimistic about recovery for the first time in a while.

And this is without the help of a counselor, even. I've been assigned one, but she's...inconsistent. And I get the feeling she copies and pastes her responses from one client to another. I'm cool with that, though, because I really seem to be doing fine on my own so far. 

I should be clear that this post isn't an advertisement for the National Stress Clinic. I can't sing their praises enough, but there are any number of places online and in real life if you decide CBT is the right course of action for you. You can even buy a book and do it on your own, although I would recommend having some form of support to keep you on track. 

But honestly, if you're ready to really change the way you think, give it a try. I never thought I could change my core beliefs about myself, and here I am doing it. Good luck!

From Hero to Zero: Why You Shouldn't Let Others Decide Your Value

When I was a little kid, I wanted to be Wonder Woman when I grew up. As I got older and realized that could never realistically be on the table due to my distinct lack of superpowers or an invisible plane, I scaled way back on that dream. I was happy with my Wonder Woman Underoos (remember those?) and decided I wanted to be an astronomer instead. The teenage years brought angst and with it dreams of being a singer or writer.

Many (many!) years later, I'm a cube jockey in a temp job I've grown to despise for various reasons that I'm sure you'll be hearing plenty about in the future.

So what happened?

Intro to Out of This Cube Farm

Have you ever gotten to the point in your life where you see all the crap around you and think "this has to stop"? I've reached that point, and am beginning to dig myself out of the muck slowly but surely. I'm working hard to overwrite the thoughts that have held me back all this time.

This isn't intended to be my personal diary. If it was, I'd stick with my Livejournal account and make it private. What I hope to accomplish here is to share what I'm doing with others who may be going through the same thing in the hopes that I can do some good. If this blog keeps even one person from hitting rock bottom, that's great, because no one deserves to feel that way. 

Much of the content will be about work, because that's where most of my woes originate. Hence the name of the blog (which doubles as an homage to Thomas Bell's classic book Out of This Furnace). But I'll talk about pretty much anything that matters. I'm open to suggestions from others as well.

Just as a warning, this site isn't going to be all sunshine and unicorns. I'm an ornery old b, and there will be plenty of potholes on my road to recovery, so I'll be ranting and griping here too. I'll just try not to do it all  the time.  

Thank you for reading. -GoGR