This is a departure from the scope of my blog, but it's been on my mind and I'd like to talk a little about it. Grab a drink and a sandwich, because this is a long one.
The US Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA, was passed in 1996 and legally defined marriage in the United States as being between one man and one woman. Very recently, a portion of DOMA was ruled unconstitutional.
Right on schedule, the anti-gay folks freaked out about it. Their arguments were the usual, and no more correct than they've been before. Here are four of the most often-heard arguments against marriage equality and why they don't hold water.
1. This will weaken the institution of marriage!
How can allowing more people to take part in an institution weaken it? The answer is that it can't. People have been claiming since the concept of marriage was dreamed up that changing the rules and breaking away from tradition would ruin it and it hasn't happened. If anything, moving away from antiquated customs and allowing it to evolve with the times allows it to survive.
People likely said that marriage was doomed when it went from being a financial and political arrangement between various factions to a loving, mutual choice between the bride and groom. People were certain that it would go sideways when it became legal for someone to marry a person of a different race. They said that every divorce would bring the Grim Reaper closer to marriage's doorstep. They declared that the coup de grace would be people choosing to live together instead of formally marrying.
The institution of marriage is still going strong. It has survived serial marriage/divorce. It has thrived in the face of chronic infidelity. It has survived drunken quickie marriages to near strangers in Vegas. It will continue to do so as long as it remains a useful part of society.
2. If people are allowed to marry members of the same sex, what's to stop them from marrying, like, toasters or chairs or their lawn?
Or video game characters? Or Fate Testarossa pillows? It'll be pandemonium!
Neither Japan nor South Korea, where these blessed unions took place, allow or recognize same sex marriage as of this writing, and neither government has any plans to revisit the issue any time soon. South Korea goes the extra mile of not even allowing same-sex unions. Granted, these mock marriages to fictional characters aren't legally recognized either, but marriage equality can't be blamed for their existence. For this reason, the toaster/chair/lawn-marrying argument is invalid.
3. It's an abomination against God.
How do you know? Last I checked, no deities have swooped down from the heavens to weigh in on the subject. I'm guessing they're cool with it, assuming they exist to care in the first place, which is a subject on which they're also pretty silent.
Here's a brain teaser. If there really is a deity who takes an active role in the creation and existence of life in the universe, gay people wouldn't exist if He/She/Genderless didn't want them to. Most religions teach that their central deities are infallible. Being gay isn't a lifestyle choice, it's an unchanging part of someone's being. Obviously He/She/Genderless intended for this to exist and doesn't share the opinion on what does or doesn't constitute an "abomination".
4. Why do you even care?
This isn't an argument against marriage equality so much as an argument against caring about it. Still, it's wrongheaded and should be addressed.
Why do I care? Because it's a civil rights issue, and civil rights effect all of us. Just because I haven't personally experienced the struggles the gay community faces daily, that doesn't mean that I don't get to care that they are being legally effed over by their own government. They are my fellow citizens and they are being denied their rights based on something about themselves that is as much an integral and unchanging part of them as their height or eye color. That is pure discrimination and should not be legal in any way, shape or form.
There are plenty of other arguments, but honestly, they're so patently absurd that they don't even bear a mention.
So someday, maybe even in my lifetime, we will have achieved full marriage equality. And we will do it because there is no valid reason not to.
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