The First Amendment of the US Constitution

This is the text of the First Amendment, which people love to cite when someone gets called out in the media for boneheaded comments:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

What this means:

No US government official has the right to make a law that restricts a citizen's expression, establishes a "state" religion, restricts their right to practice any religion they choose, inhibits their ability gather together for any reason or prevents them from demanding that the government hear their concerns.

What this does NOT mean:

That idiots like Phil Robertson can say any disgusting thing they want and experience no consequences. If you say something vile while representing your employer, they, being private citizens themselves, are well within their rights to get your stink off of them. If a consumer, also a private citizen, chooses not to spend money at your establishment because of something you did that they don't agree with, he or she is also well within rights. The First Amendment also protects the speech of people you don't agree with.

So let's recap:

• Until the government drags Phil Robertson off in handcuffs and imprisons him for making homophobic and racist remarks, his right to free speech is not being violated by any stretch of the imagination
• Telling someone to STFU is not violating his or her right to free speech, but in many cases it is very good advice
• Business owners and media figures are freely exercising their rights by saying homophobic, racist, misogynistic or just plain stupid things; consumers are freely exercising theirs by refusing to buy their products or watch their shows
• The First Amendment applies to all speech, even speech that conservatives don't agree with

Capisce? Good.

I Want My Work/Life Balance Back!

"Lying here on my deathbed and looking back on my life, my biggest regret is not working more overtime."

Said no one, ever.

You Are Good Enough and You Deserve the Best

I'm just sharing a link this time.

You Are Good Enough and You Deserve the Best, by Alesha Chilton

Please give this link some love, because she says it so much better than I can. Blessed be, Alesha.

Job Description Buzzphrases Translated

If you're looking for a job or just like to peruse the job boards from time to time, you're bound to notice that many posts have a common language. We see it all the time, but what does it really mean? I think I know and will be happy to translate for you!

I should state that this is just a humorous post (well I think it is) and not meant to be taken seriously at all. I'm trying to work through a case of writer's block, so some silliness might be what it takes.

Anyway, shall we?

Not All Suffering Is Inevitable

Someone who lived a long time ago and was a lot smarter than me said that suffering is inevitable. Loss is inevitable. If we live long enough we will lose our loved ones, our youth and our vitality, and eventually we will die. We will experience illness and injury, either our own or someone else's. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.

Sounds pretty grim, doesn't it? It is. But the thing about an inevitable event is that there's no point in doing anything other than accepting it will happen, preparing for it and dealing with it when the time comes. It's what you do in the time leading up to it that matters.

But there is so much suffering in our lives that we can prevent. We just need to change the way we think about things we've been taught all our lives and decide what's really important. We need to process the messages we receive daily in a different, more productive way.

I don't know what will work for you, because I don't know you. There's no one size fits all solution for everyone. But these are the things I'm trying and telling myself, so maybe you'll find something in here that's useful.

I Need to Get...Wait for It...Out of This Cube Farm

As I sit here in a nearly deserted office on the day after the 4th of July, a Friday, because I have to be here while everyone else could take the day off if they felt like it but I can't, I can't help but wonder about some things.

Depressed? Get a Dog.

Or at least spend some time with one.

Here's my furry little ball of therapy, Elizabeth the chiweenie:

I never planned on getting a dog. I love them, but my work schedule and commute prevent me from having the time to give them the full range of care that they need. But my mom, who lives with me, wanted one for the longest time and fell in love with the little girl in the picture up yonder. Mom is retired, so she can take care of her during the day. 

So now I have a dog, and I can't imagine life without her.

4 Arguments Against Marriage Equality and Why They're Wrong

This is a departure from the scope of my blog, but it's been on my mind and I'd like to talk a little about it. Grab a drink and a sandwich, because this is a long one.

The US Defense of Marriage Act, or DOMA, was passed in 1996 and legally defined marriage in the United States as being between one man and one woman. Very recently, a portion of DOMA was ruled unconstitutional.

Right on schedule, the anti-gay folks freaked out about it. Their arguments were the usual, and no more correct than they've been before. Here are four of the most often-heard arguments against marriage equality and why they don't hold water.

A Few Words on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

For the uninitiated, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on the client changing thought patterns and core beliefs that produce negative feelings and behaviors. It has been used to successfully treat such conditions as depression, addiction, PTSD and even obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I decided to give it a try when I started experiencing physical symptoms from the stress I was under. I'd heard about CBT before, so I fired up my trusty Google machine and searched "cognitive behavioral therapy for stress". This led me to the National Stress Clinic. 

I was surprised by the amount of work I was expected to do on my own. When I went to therapy in the past, the psychologists got me to talking about my feelings and things that happened to me, but I don't remember there being a whole lot of emphasis on identifying and changing core beliefs. That's something I've never confronted before, and to be honest I was a little intimidated. 

It's working, though. I read articles containing daily lessons, then complete worksheets that have really done a lot to get me to identify toxic thought patterns that I never specifically acknowledged before. Not only that, but I'm being taught to replace the toxic thought with a positive or neutral one. Sure, when you're down, a lot of people will say "think positive!" But CBT actually teaches you how to do it. I'm in the fourth week of the program and I can already see a change in myself. I'm optimistic about recovery for the first time in a while.

And this is without the help of a counselor, even. I've been assigned one, but she's...inconsistent. And I get the feeling she copies and pastes her responses from one client to another. I'm cool with that, though, because I really seem to be doing fine on my own so far. 

I should be clear that this post isn't an advertisement for the National Stress Clinic. I can't sing their praises enough, but there are any number of places online and in real life if you decide CBT is the right course of action for you. You can even buy a book and do it on your own, although I would recommend having some form of support to keep you on track. 

But honestly, if you're ready to really change the way you think, give it a try. I never thought I could change my core beliefs about myself, and here I am doing it. Good luck!

From Hero to Zero: Why You Shouldn't Let Others Decide Your Value

When I was a little kid, I wanted to be Wonder Woman when I grew up. As I got older and realized that could never realistically be on the table due to my distinct lack of superpowers or an invisible plane, I scaled way back on that dream. I was happy with my Wonder Woman Underoos (remember those?) and decided I wanted to be an astronomer instead. The teenage years brought angst and with it dreams of being a singer or writer.

Many (many!) years later, I'm a cube jockey in a temp job I've grown to despise for various reasons that I'm sure you'll be hearing plenty about in the future.

So what happened?

Intro to Out of This Cube Farm

Have you ever gotten to the point in your life where you see all the crap around you and think "this has to stop"? I've reached that point, and am beginning to dig myself out of the muck slowly but surely. I'm working hard to overwrite the thoughts that have held me back all this time.

This isn't intended to be my personal diary. If it was, I'd stick with my Livejournal account and make it private. What I hope to accomplish here is to share what I'm doing with others who may be going through the same thing in the hopes that I can do some good. If this blog keeps even one person from hitting rock bottom, that's great, because no one deserves to feel that way. 

Much of the content will be about work, because that's where most of my woes originate. Hence the name of the blog (which doubles as an homage to Thomas Bell's classic book Out of This Furnace). But I'll talk about pretty much anything that matters. I'm open to suggestions from others as well.

Just as a warning, this site isn't going to be all sunshine and unicorns. I'm an ornery old b, and there will be plenty of potholes on my road to recovery, so I'll be ranting and griping here too. I'll just try not to do it all  the time.  

Thank you for reading. -GoGR